Sometimes it happens that suddenly you have started liking your friend’s ex and you can’t stop thinking about him, even after trying (though not so hard). You might’ve got some positive signals from the other side too. You discover that you’ve developed feelings for him and you rode on your feelings.
But being driven by these feelings will put you into some critical situations which most people will prefer to avoid than to face. You might even end up in a situation where you have to lose either your friend or your date who’s happened to be your friend’s ex or worst, you lose both of them. In addition to that, after losing one or both, you have to live with thousands of “I-warned-you-before” from your other friends whenever the topic appears.
So, consider only a few most critical situations of many others before trying to date your friend’s ex.
It may cost you your friendship
If your friendship is so deep that you exchange your opinions about newly bought lingerie, then your friend must’ve shared her experience with you about her past relationship. She definitely told you about the dark sides of that guy on which their relationship was ended. In this matter you’ve fully supported your friend with and issued some angry comments on that guy to comfort your friend. Now, if your friend comes to know that you’re dating that particular guy, she will consider your act as a solid example of disloyalty to your friendship and it might end your years’ old friendship.
You can lose both of them
You’ve already heard a few bad things about the guy from your friend which will never let you fully trust him. In any cases, this special kind of relationships doesn’t last long. Now your friend’s ex might tell you about some of the misdeeds of his ex girlfriend in his own defence. You will be puzzled with all the inputs of both the persons coming from both sides. You can neither depend 100% on your friend nor fully trust your new boyfriend. Losing the balance of maintaining both the relations you might end up losing both the persons at the same time.
Neither of them stands each other
That guy happened to be your friend’s boyfriend and they had a relationship that broke due to some reasons. Their relationship is over, but the reasons behind their break up still remain the same. So, if your friend and her ex both hold grudge, they can not stand being around each other. Now if you are dating with that guy, it’ll be a scene when you all three are present at the same venue. None of you will be comfortable being there. It’ll be horribly embarrassing if your friend and her ex engage in shooting rude comments to each other keeping you in the centre of the scene.
You’ll hurt your inner feelings
In your intimate times with your new boyfriend, can you ever be able to forget that this guy is cuddling you in the same way he did it several times with your friend. Or can you ignore the thought that you’re lying on that bed which was once your friend’s rightful place. It is true that every relation is different, but comparing two similar things is one of the basic natures of human mind. You will never be comfortable with the guy knowing that he is doing the same things he did with your friend. You’ll be haunted by the comparisons with your friend and hurt your own feelings.
After considering all these things, if you’re still seeing only the bull’s eye, in these few circumstances you can try dating your friend’s ex.
Your friend is in love with someone else
If your friend broke up with this guy a few years ago and she is already in another steady relationship with some other guy, then she might’ve been completely over her past relationship. Now your friend hardly cares if you are dating her past boyfriend. But remember, dormant volcanoes always look extinguished.
You’ve got your friend’s permission
By any chance, if your friend gives you the permission to date with her ex partner, you can officially go after that guy. But relationships are mostly run by emotions, not by official memos. So, there is a fat chance that the permission is silently cancelled without any notice and your friendship is in trouble.
Your friend is only your social media friend
This is the least risky situation in which you can confidently date your friend’s ex. If the friendship between you and your friend is confined only in social media and you hardly talk over the phone, let alone meet, you can boldly date her ex-boyfriend. Online friendship cannot rule your date.
Human heart has never been appreciated for following rules or acting logically. Hence, it can move towards anyone anytime driven only by emotions. But it’s your brain’s duty to speculate the consequences of throwing love darts to your pal’s ex. Now you decide whether you should move towards your friend’s ex or not.